I wonder about my soul mate tonight

Bet hes smoking grass

his hair is graying more and more and I worry about him, sometimes.

I forget about him sometimes.

I thought his name was Chris.

In my dreams he was blonde and his name was Chris.

But here his name is arabic. here hes not.

I havent seen him in months. maybe half a year, maybe more.

But its ok cause I know he knows.

'Why wont you let me?' he said.

'I dont know, I cant, I wont let anyone...' comes from me.

'But you and I, I know we understand each other.' him.

'Yes. we do. I'm sorry.' me.

And then I was ashamed cause i'm a coward and I wouldnt let him see me ever though i know he sees me anyway.

One day ill pick up my phone.

one day ill send that email.

but its too hard today.

cause we've from two different places and I dont know if I can be there for you and your weaknesses because i'm not used to having to be strong.

AND I LIED TO YOU

fuck.

you of all the people you.

Because i was a coward then and now and always. Cause i'm still not that cool.

can you still be my friend. when i tell you the lies? will you leave my soul?